The Qualities to Look for in a Man of God, Even if Your Dad Wasn’t One

I have to start this post by thanking my dad.

You see, the only type of father I’ve known is the one who loves my mom unconditionally, has the patience of Job with her, my brother and I, and the one who’s fit because he’s running around doing everything for everyone.

Basically, my dad is selfless, gives the best advice, is compassionate, quick to listen and slow to anger.

But it’s because of this great dad I have, that made my heart ache over the girls that have never known this type of father.

They may have lost him before they were born – or at a young age – and only have minimal memories of him, or none at all. But for many, it’s because their dad’s alive, but has never stepped up to be a father.

And it was at that moment that the Lord placed this passage on my heart.

In 1 Timothy 3, the qualities to look for in an overseer or a deacon (the male leaders of the church) are addressed.

² Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, ³ not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

⁴ He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. ⁵ (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 

⁶ He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. ⁷ He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.”

Biblically speaking, men are called to be the head of the household – and for those who chose to be – pastors in the church. As the saying goes, “With great power, comes great responsibility.”

And if the pastor, who’s the head of the church, is called to these great qualifications, then girls, shouldn’t these same qualifications be applied to the man who’s the head of your future household?

Yes, yes they should. These are the qualifications you’ll want in the man you’re going to marry one day; the one who will lead and love both you and your children.

After all, men are called to “love your wives as Christ loved the church,” in Ephesians 5:25. And it goes even further:

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Girls, just because your earthly father isn’t present, your Heavenly Father is. And while your life may have certainly been harder than others, you do not have to be the victim for the rest of it. You can choose to walk with God. You can allow him to shut out potential boyfriends that will only cause you to compromise…and heartbreak.

Whom you choose to date and especially, who you choose to marry, will have an effect on your children and future generations to come.

Remember the words of Psalm 37:

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Because when you live your life for Christ, your desires become for what (or whom) he wants, and that’s exactly what he’ll give you.